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About the monster called Comparing.

I do it too. Comparing myself to others. Not as often anymore,
thankfully, but still.

With the smarter ones, the slimmer ones, the younger ones, the richer ones, the more successful ones.

The more elegant, more creative, more entrepreneurial ones. The more accomplished and wiser ones.

Why wasn’t I like her?

Pffffff. What an insane question.

There’s only one me, and only one you.

Beyond comparison.

So, please, let’s stop doing this.
Today.

It takes a tremendous amount of energy and makes you utterly unhappy.

And jealous, to top it all off.

They are, and I’m not.

Poor me.

But on the other hand, comparing yourself to others can also bring you a lot.

Tons of energy, confidence, courage and perspective.
I mean.

That takes the form of a role model.

No jealousy or insecurity.
Just respect and genuine admiration.

Role models help you see the world differently.
Show you everything that is possible.
Show you what the thing you long for so much looks like in real life.

They influence your thinking, challenge you, show you the way, and inspire you to take action you never even dared to dream of.

They help you become who you already are.

And, importantly, they’re often temporary. Each stage of life, each area of life has its own role model. Often, they’re only your role model in some ways.

You find them everywhere: your yoga teacher, Pippi Langkous, your best friend, Gaudi, your blog coach, the girl next door, Serena Wiliams, your father, Adriana Huffington, Floortje Dessing, the postman, the volunteer firefighter, Michelle O. and Oprah W.

Also important: don’t become a copycat.

Just be yourself.
And let your role model awaken your unsuspected talents, your deeply hidden desires, your untapped potential.
Your role model makes something very clear to you.

And, good to know:
what you admire so much in someone else is also in you.
Perhaps deeply hidden, but it’s there.
Otherwise, it wouldn’t resonate. Simple.

One of my heroines at the moment is Elizabeth Gilbert.
Of the incredibly good book The Big Magic.
A book about living an inspired and creative life.

Magical and practical.

Love that.

It’s about the wonder of magic and everything life throws at you. The uncertainty, fear and doubt too. LG teaches you to deal with them more easily. To enjoy them and keep things light. With humor and an open mind.

A celebration of recognition.

What would my heroine do?

That’s the question you need to ask yourself.
When you have a difficult decision to make.
When you’re in doubt or don’t dare.

Often, the answer is exactly what you need.

And before you know it, you no longer need your heroine.

And you ask yourself:

What would I do?

And then you become your own role model!

Permanent. And all the way.